Envy

Envy is an interesting feeling. It gnaws at you. It creeps up from nowhere, suddenly. You see someone else having something and suddenly you just want to have it also. It could be anything, something small like a new pair of sunglasses, or something a bit larger, like a Maserati. Whatever it is, the feeling is the same. It is deeply affecting your mind and you feel you cannot be complete without having it, whatever that “it” is.

It doesn’t mean you don’t want the other person not to have it. You just also want to have it. Of course not the same thing, but the one with a couple of added features, the latest version, the upgrade, so you can top the other “something.”

Envy is an ugly feeling. It possesses you completely, from head to toe. It colors your rational thinking so that you can no longer think straight until you get that something. Once you have it, you sense enormous relief. You are happy. Your mental tension and aggravation have ceased to torment you. Now you are in a state of bliss. You’ve got it!

Now pride sets in. And you are in a position to look down on the other person who now has the “inferior” version of this desired object. Now you are in the position to be envied by others and you know it. You flaunt your new toy. You show it off. You present it to the world. But you also guard it and don’t tell anyone how and where you got it. You keep that a mystery. The mystery adds to your pleasure of possessing “it.”

What a way to live! What agony, what pain you are feeling all the time. And over what? A piece of something that can never touch your very core, your being. A superficial amusement that you will soon be tired of playing with. And you only wanted it because someone else had it first. Did you really want it for yourself? Did you even think about it before you saw the other person have it? How so very pathetic. And ultimately very immature.

That Elusive Spark

From time to time new influences enter our lives. New thoughts arise. New or old acquaintances contribute some surprising information to our daily humdrum. We notice something out of the ordinary. We perk up. We take notice. A bright light flashes across our sky of understanding.

That “something” new or different could be anything. It could be a discovery or a new strain of understanding. It could be something that we see, hear, taste, touch, or smell.

Whatever it is, something about this “something” strikes a chord in us, in our deepest awareness of existence. It rattles us. It changes the trajectory of our lives forever. Our lives will not be the same afterwards. Something hit us hard. And it will leave an ongoing impression in our being. We remember it periodically, with awe and reference.

This “something” is the spice of life. It is really what we are looking for in life. Without it there would only be monotony. There must be something in existence that wakes us from our comforting slumber. There has to be, otherwise we would still be slumbering as a single brain, single cell organism in the swamps of this planet. Something made us crawl out of the mud. Something powerful kicked us out and/or pulled us towards something greater.